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Mother’s Day: Gifts from the Heart

Have you ever received gifts that were fun in the moment but lost their allure almost as fast as you unwrapped the package? Material gifts may satisfy short-term desires, but it is the human connection that leaves a lasting impression. Instead of going to the store to buy Mom another bottle of perfume, think about creating a memory instead. Here are three easy ways:

1) The gift of experience

A sure-fire happiness amplifier is to create a time when you do/experience something together with your mom. Make this something she enjoys doing, even if it’s not really your thing. You can ask your mom what she enjoys or surprise her. Some ideas are: a walk in nature, making something creative together, joining her to see the film she’s been longing to check out, or even listening together to her favorite music and dancing up a storm — bonus points for laughing out loud. I still smile when I think of the dance lesson my kids gave me. They worked hard that day!

2) The gift of time

Most people feel that they have too much to do in a day, so consider giving your mom the gift of time — that is, time to take care of herself. That could mean anything from offering to cook dinner to doing the dishes or taking the dog for a walk. It could involve arranging for a friend to babysit while mom takes a hike or takes that course that she has signed up for. I still have some hand-made coupons from my kids for a shoulder massage that I look forward to enjoying! The criterion is that it should be something that soothes your mom and gives her a chance to tune in to herself — what a concept!

3) The gift of appreciation

Moms always do for others and often don’t even realize the effect they have on their families. One great approach is to put together a booklet of photographs and drawings that remind you of special times with your mom. Extra bonus points for including a letter of gratitude to let her know a few things you love about her, perhaps the most important lesson you have learned from her, and how much that means to you. I’d love this gift for Mother’s Day — hint, hint.

Finally, celebrate the quality of motherhood within yourself. You don’t have to be a mother to do this. Consider who or what you care about most and focus your energy and support in that direction. Be there for someone else, and don’t forget to take care of yourself — Mother’s Day is just the beginning!

Why is Mother’s Day special or not special to you? What are the most memorable gifts you have received?

From the Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/randy-taran/standardized-testing_b_1466236.html

I just got off the phone with my sister. It is almost the end of the school year, and the students at her daughter’s elementary school have a week of testing ahead during which they’ll take the Standardized Testing and Reporting, or STAR, tests. My niece, aged 10. is staying up till 10 pm most every night to study, and she is stressed out. What is wrong with this picture?
br>Our kids are under increasing pressure to do well on these standardized tests and teachers are also under pressure to have their kids perform at high levels. My niece was told that in preparation for the STAR testing, the school was taking away vocabulary and spelling homework and replacing it with a substantial packet of tests to take home and study. This is on top of her already rigorous homework schedule. What is the reason for this? My sister believes that it is not for the students’ education necessarily — it is to make the school look good. The question is — at what price?

There are plenty of parents who are not happy with what is going on. Children and teens are increasingly sleep deprived, overscheduled and ceaselessly connected on social media. This, apart from the regular stresses, creates Continue reading

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How to Find Happiness

We need to suitably define this thing we call happiness. Too many people are chasing this elusive concept that, in my opinion, they don’t understand. They think happiness is a tangible thing you achieve once you clear away a certain roadblock: “If I just had a boyfriend, if I just made more money, if I just had a bigger house….”

So let’s clear up this myth. Happiness is not a concrete thing. It’s not about what we attain materialistically, what job we have, and or based on genetics. Happiness is a choice we can all make during every moment of every day. Yes, it’s true that some people tend to be more positive than others. However, this is a learned behavior, so anyone can work their way towards living a happier life.

What are some words I use to describe happiness? Joy and contentment are the first ones that come to mind. And I do believe the ability to experience these emotions is related to how people feel about themselves. Too many people are walking around with an internal emptiness that was created in childhood. And you can recognize this emptiness from the way they behave: those who constantly (and subconsciously) fill a void with material things, those who compare themselves to others (and what others have) and feel less than because of it, those who live too much through their children’s lives without paying attention to their own….

Here are some tips on how to Continue reading

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A TEDx event and book inspire middle school teachers and students to test out in practice the author’s ideas for building a curriculum on happiness. By Victoria Obenchain, The Saklan School Science Specialist and Middle School Science Teacher. For more information on the program at Saklan, visit http://saklan.org.

This article originally appeared in the Spring 2012 newsletter of the California Association of Independent Schools. You can read the article in it’s original format on page 20 and 21 of the newsletter – www.caisca.org/uploads/file/FacNewsSpr2012.pdf

Last Spring, teachers at the Saklan School attended the TEDx conference on compassion in Richmond, California. Our goal was to gain an understanding of how we could help teach compassion to our middle school students. We spent the day listening to many inspirational speakers, songwriters, and curriculum designers. It was there that we spotted a book that resonated with both our school’s mission and the unique challenges of teaching middle school.

In a time when stress, anxiety, pressure, and fear of failure haunt so many middle school and high school students, Randy Taran’s Project Happiness Handbook offers tools for managing difficult situations and building life-long happiness. The book itself is fun, colorful, and interactive. It encourages readers to brainstorm, write, draw, and self-reflect while examining the differences between joy (short-term pleasure) and happiness (true contentment). It also explores how negative self-talk can become a habit that leads to self-deprecation and depression, while helping readers develop the self-awareness and skills necessary to lead positive, productive lives.

When we found the book, we couldn’t believe how lucky we were. Our dean contacted the author and explained how we were going to use it in our advisories. Randy was overjoyed to hear this as she was working on creating a curriculum for the exact same purpose. We decided to partner up, and test out her lesson plans in our eighth grade leadership class. Continue reading

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A Happy World Begins With a Happy YOU

From the Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/randy-taran/world-happiness-report_b_1449440.html

My son just reminded me that it was Earth Day. This sparked a discussion of what can one person do to make a change? We talked about Al Gore, how recycling has grown and new ideas that could really shift our perspective. For me, the most exciting idea to affect the planet this year has come from a tiny country in the Himalayas, called Bhutan. Their Prime Minister has been waging a campaign to measure human progress not only by how wealthy a country is, but also by the way it impacts the environment and the happiness of its people… a fascinating notion that has made it all the way to the U.N.

Earlier this month, Bhutan’s Prime Minister Jigme Thinley proposed the meeting to explore the idea of Gross National Happiness (GNH), rather than just the conventional economic measure of Gross National Product (GNP). What does that mean? The U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, summarized it this way: “Social, economic and environmental well-being are indivisible. Together they define gross global happiness.” The environment, social well-being and economics together in one soup – now that’s an idea that could be a game changer!

I decided to look deeper. Apparently the U.N. General Assembly mandated Continue reading

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Adam Yauch, aka MCA, is one of the founding members of the hip hop trio, the Beastie Boys. Inspired by his own extensive travels as well as the his interactions with the Dalai Lama, Adam became publicly passionate about the situation in Tibet and created “The Milarepa Fund” to help promote awareness and generate support around the world. He organized the first “Tibetan Freedom Concert” in San Francisco in 1996, which he followed with years of a similar series in the United States and worldwide. Yauch has influenced an entire generation of human souls to look deep within themselves in search of a greater truth and a peaceful, compassionate understanding of all that surrounds us.

Adam spoke with some of the students participating in Project Happiness to offer his thoughts on lasting happiness. This interview was edited for space and flow.

PROJECT HAPPINESS: I was wondering what your definition of happiness is, and whether it is in the long-term or short-term spectrum?

ADAM YAUCH: It is good that you’re making the distinction between short-term and long-term. I think there is Continue reading

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From the Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/randy-taran/teen-suicide_b_1381062.html

I visit a lot of schools and communities with a documentary I produced called Project Happiness. The idea is to remind people of the happiness that we were born with and how to re-access it, no matter what the external circumstances. I am grateful for the profound appreciation coming from audiences; yet the reason troubles me to the core. Why in so many cities, across the country, am I hearing again and again of kids taking their lives?

What is the feeling of utter hopelessness and isolation that prompts such an action? If you would ask most parents across the globe what they want most for their children, it is to be happy. And most people want to live a meaningful life. How did we get from there to here?

The statistics are down right shocking. Continue reading

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Forgiveness: Making Space for More Happiness

From the Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/randy-taran/learning-to-forgive_b_1322686.html

Have you ever tried to be happy, yet something just irked you under the surface — a feeling that you had not been seen, appreciated, loved? Or even worse, a feeling of betrayal, total loss of trust or even violation? What can be done? The way out is forgiveness. Let’s make something clear from the get go. It’s not about saying that what happened to hurt you was OK — it was not. It’s about adjusting your outlook and the way you deal with a situation so that it does not entrap you, keeping you stuck in anger, sadness or frustration for years to come. Your forgiveness opens the door to your own freedom. A quote I love is, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” — Louis B. Smedes.

Dr. Fred Luskin of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project defines forgiveness as “the feeling of peace that emerges as you take your hurt less personally, take responsibility for how you feel and become a hero instead of a victim in the story that you tell. Forgiveness is the experience of peacefulness in the present moment.”

My parents are getting older, and I find that long-buried feelings like “Why couldn’t they be the perfect parents I had wished for?” coming to the forefront of my mind. I thought that I had dealt with this sticky stuff long ago — what’s up? Hey, I know I should feel happy to even have parents who possess several amazing qualities and who are still here! I also know the drill: Everyone is human and does the best they can with the knowledge they have. Yet these feelings of irritation and sadness still arise. So I am trying to write this to learn to forgive, to let go and create more mental space in my life. More room for happiness! Here’s what I’ve found: Continue reading

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Valentine’s Day — Really?

From the Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/randy-taran/valentines-day_b_1247584.html

Valentine’s Day: What does it represent to you? Is it a reminder of the passions of new romance or the love that you are longing for in your life? Is it a commercial orchestration fabricated by the greeting card, flower and chocolate industries to make us buy more? Here’s the real question: Can Valentine’s Day remind us of the enormous capacity for love that we already carry within?

From the day we are born, not only do we need love and affection to thrive, we constantly give and generate love. Benjamin Disraeli says, “We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end.” Yet the word love in itself is confusing. It means so many different things to different people. Here are some of its faces:

• the protective affection felt by parents for their children
• the resonance felt by sharing interests and true friendship
• the sexual expression of love that also can hold the potential of transcendence
• the sense of caring for others’ welfare — what we call unconditional love.

There are times when each of these types of love takes the lead, but Continue reading

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I have spent a ton of time lately thinking about how to find happiness in times like these.

I think about all the different situations that surround so many people in my life. So how can you find happiness when: you’ve lost your job, you’ve lost your house, your child is dying, your child has an incurable condition, you have cancer, your parent just died of cancer, or you are getting divorced? Those are just some examples.

How can you be happy amidst all the insanity that envelopes your life when you are dealing with just one of those things, let alone multiple things? Continue reading

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